Shuffle Challenge: Twilight
by Lamia of the Dark
Summary: 10 songs, 10 drabbles. Written for a "playlist on shuffle" challenge. Rules inside. Theme: crack, character bashing, hilarious death.


**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing.**

-- Shuffle Challenge: Twilight --

**Rules:  
1. Pick a character, fandom, pairing, friendship, whatever.  
2. Put iTunes or your music program on shuffle and start playing songs.  
3. For each song, write something inspired by the song related to the theme you chose earlier. You only have the song length. No pre-planning and no writing after the song is over. No skipping songs either.  
4. Do this for ten songs.**

I'm going with "crack, character bashing, hilarious death" for the theme. Author's notes in [brackets]

* * *

- The Pixies, "Where Is My Mind?" -

Edward was gone. So, of course, Bella decided that the most logical thing to do would be to go completely insane. Because that ALWAYS helps the situation.

And then as soon as she was reunited with Edward, she magically WASN'T insane anymore. Except for the whole still-being-in-love-with someone-who-would-do-that-to-her thing...

She doesn't even need a working mind. She needs to grow a spine first. She can work on getting her mind in order after that.

[heavy sarcasm]

* * *

- AFI, "Kiss and Control" -

It was like some type of power struggle, Edward withholding kisses until he manipulated Bella into doing what he wanted, then bestowing kisses on her as rewards. How ironic that she became a vampire and not a werewolf because she was such a well-trained dog, obeying her immortal master... Neither of them seemed to care that this kind of relationship belonged more to the century he was born in than to her modern world.

She was that much of a social outcast that she didn't understand that there was supposed to be some kind of equality in the relationship, that she shouldn't let him treat her like an object...

What a broken fairy tale we weave...

* * *

- Soft Cell, "Tainted Love" -

Tainted love. There was no better way to describe it. It was not pure and wonderful and selfless as love is supposed to be. It was manipulative and possessive and dirty.

Jacob should have ripped Edward to pieces when he had the chance and saved Bella from the filthy creature's clutches.

* * *

- Trans-siberian Orchestra, "Siberian Sleigh Ride" -

They went to Alaska, and Irina from Tanya's coven fell in love with Edward.

And so Edward decided that it would better for Bella if he settled down with another vampire and proved that he was over his ridiculous crush on the human girl.

When Bella found out about it, she went even insaner than she had when he first left. Then she got over it and hooked up with Jacob and everyone was happy, the end.

* * *

- Disturbed, "Sons of Plunder" -

James bit Bella's hand and, finding that her blood was indeed irresistable, he drained her dry - leaving her empty husk for the Cullens to find.

* * *

- System of a Down, "Highway Song" -

Speeding down the highway, Edward got in a car wreck. The gas tank exploded on impact and his body was burned up in the fire.

When Bella found out, she went completely off her rocker and Charlie had to have the poor girl committed.

* * *

- Fear Factory, "Bite The Hand That Bleeds" -

Edward saw the bite mark on Bella's hand... and couldn't resist draining her dry of all that delicious blood...

Then James ripped him to shreds and set his body on fire, and laughed maniacally.

* * *

- Yoko Ishida, "Aim To Be A Pokemon Master (ParaPara Max Dance Remix)" -

Emmett caught Edward watching Pokemon on TV, and from then on teased his brother by slyly slipping the internet meme "so i herd u liek mudkipz" into the conversation at every opportunity.

* * *

- That 1 Guy, "Axlrod" -

Jacob beat Edward to death with a tire iron, then set him on fire. The end.

[this song is pretty short]

* * *

- Yoko Ishida, "Towa no Hana" -

Bella was finally a vampire, just like she'd always wanted to be... ever since she found out that Edward was one, anyway.

"My eternal flower..."

"You know, Edward, you really need to work on your poetic skills, cause they really REALLY suck."

"... pun intended?"

"Nope."

"We totally suck as characters."

"Hey! Breaking the fourth wall! Shut up!"

"But it's true..."

"YOU'RE RUINING THE DREAMS OF TEENAGE GIRLS EVERYWHERE."

"They need to find more badass ficitonal characters to idolize, anyway. Like Gene Starwind or Zechs Merquise. Or that pirate guy."

["eternal flower" is what the song's title translates to in English]

-end-

**A/N: Wow, most of the songs that came up were perfect this :D **

**Vote for what other fandoms you want to see me do in the poll in my profile page!**

**Reviews are love. **


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